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Chapter One
Mesmorized by the smoke curling around her thumb, she cursed herself for not resisting what her son called "those death sticks." The room seemed to swivel as she exhaled, and she flicked an ash in the ashtray on window sill. Even though the tobacco was finally taking its toll on her, she kept on puffing away. They calmed her frazzled nerves. She could not stop smoking for if she would, the thought of immenent death would overcome her thoughts. So she continued, and turned to look out the window.
Staring off into the distant forest, she brought the cigarrette to her lips again. She always closed her eyes when she inhaled. Maybe it was just some habit she had formed over the years. Navy had always ragged on her for that. He always said she looked like she enjoyed sucking posions into her lungs way to much. In fact, he had always said that cigarettes would be the death of her. Who would have thought he'd be right? They were going to kill her. The doctor had already told her so, and the time for her expected departure had passed long ago. She was on borrowed time, and she knew it. What would Navy say if he knew?
He would not scold her. He would not say, "I told you so." He would not laugh at her or get angry. He would go up to her and just hold her. He would bury his face in the crook of her neck and smell her hair, telling how beautiful she was, even in her weakened condition. He always knew the right thing to say and when to say it. Next to him would be Jack. Jack would hug her and tell her to have faith. Jack was always to strongest out of them when it came to faith. Kelly, on the other hand, would probably grab her hands, yank her out of her chair, and dance around the room with her. She smiled at the thought of her old friends. Where were they now? Were thier lives crashing down like hers? Did they struggles with similar woes?
Ahh, her woes. On those days when she felt her absolute worst, when death came viscously clawing at her door, her woes just seemed a thousand pounds heavier. Those days just seemed to crawl by. Those days seemed to be occuring more and more often. Just breathing was a struggle. She hated it when Ezra saw her like this. She forbade him from telling his father. He didn’t need to know about her life anymore.
Why was she still there? She supposed God had one last mission for her to do before He would take her home. There were days where all she did was drop to her knees and beg God to take her. She wanted so much to end her pain, yet she continued to faithfully wait on His time. On those days when she felt like she couldn’t make it, it seemed as though God would reach inside her head and stir up old memories. They so helped her through those days. She could go days just recalling the course of her life. The joys and the sorrows; the laughter and the tears; the beautiful moments of passion were what kept her coming back for more. In fact, she reached back into her mind as far as she could recall… yes, there it was. The first joyful time she could remember… her first summer camp.
Little Miss Janna La Rue bounced out of her mother’s broke-down station wagon and grabbed her stuffed unicorn, clutching it firmly to her chest. Her mother took her hand and led her up to the doors of the camp’s mess hall entrance. “Now, Janna, I want you to stay close to here ok? You can go look around, but I want to be able to see you when I look out the door, understood?” Janna nodded her head sheepishly, and then took off in the other direction. Her mother just sighed and walked in the building to the registration desk.
Janna ran up onto the hill just past the dining hall. She suddenly stopped and craned her neck up to see the massive wooden tower in front of her. “Wow!” She whispered, amazed that people were jumping around on this huge wooden block.
A tap on her left shoulder made her yip, and she spun around. Her unicorn leaped from her hands and landed at the feet of a pleasantly plump, blond haired woman. She bent down and scooped up the stuffed animal. “Why hello my dear! And what’s your name?” Janna stood there staring at her feet. The woman dropped to a knee and offered her back her unicorn. Janna looked up as she reached out and took her toy. “Janna.” The woman smiled. “Well, Janna, my name is Miss Diane. Are you here for the camp?” Janna nodded her head. “Is your mother here? Ok, do you know where she is?” Janna turned and pointed back to the building she ran from. “Good! Now let’s go see her, shall we?” Diane stood up and took Janna’s little hand. Together they walked back to the dining hall to see her mother.
Janna sat on her creaky metal spring bed, alone in the cabin. She felt a little lonely without her little sister. She didn't seem to warm up to any of her cabinmates either. They were all too busy with their make-up and their boyfriends. Miss Diane had reminded her that dinner was at 6 o'clock sharp, so she gathered her shoes and jacket and headed down to the mess hall.
She started down the little dirt path Diane had showed her. "This isn't so bad" she thought to herself. After walking about 10 minutes, she realized she had no idea where she was going. She stopped and looked around. Trees everywhere. There were many other paths, but how was she to know which one led where she needed to go? She turned to the one on her left, and headed down that way.
She walked about two minutes and found herself standing in a small clearing in the forest. There were benches all around with a large cirle of rocks and burnt wood in the middle. Janna scratched her head, looking around. She rolled her eyes, shrugged her shoulders, and sat down. "Hopeless" she muttered.
"Hello?" Startled, Janna spun around, almost falling backward off the bench she was sitting on. Standing behind her were two boys. The first was quite chubby. He had dirty blonde hair and wore an old baseball cap. The other was tall and thin. Both were carrying armfuls of large sticks, thier clothes dirty and covered in grass stains. The chubby one spoke first. "Are you lost?" "Aren't you supposed to be at dinner about now?" The other asked. Janna nodded her head. The chubby boy walked to the fire circle and dropped his wood in it, and the other boy followed suite. "We're heading over threre so you can just follow us." Janna stood up and followed the boys out of the circle back onto the path from which she came.
"I haven't seen you around here." The chubby boy said. "That's because I haven't been here before." Janna replied. "Oh. Well, I'm Navy." She nodded and looked at the other boy. "What's your name?" He just looked at her. "What's your name?" Janna pursed her lips. "My name's Janna." "Well, my name's Jack." They reached the bottom of the hill. Janna looked up and a smile spread across her face. "Oh! I know where we are now!" They headed up the hill, past the tower, and down the mess hall for dinner.
Janna stood there, looking out across the room, scanning the tables for a friendly place to sit. She spotted the boys she walked there with sitting at a table in one of the far back corners. Just then, the chubby one looked up and waved to her. She smiled and headed toward them, stopping on the way to grab some silverware. She sat down and started eating. "Aren't you going to pray first?" Janna stopped midbite. "What?" "Pray" Jack said. "Here we pray before our meals." She put down her fork. "Oh" The boys just stared. Janna just stared back. She lowered her head a bit to avoid their gaze. "Haven't you ever prayed before?" She shook her head. "What's your name again?" She asked, looking up at pudgy boy. "Navy." "That's a weird name." "Well, my dad wanted to name me after his dad, but my mom really didn't like the name Wallace. So, my grandpa suggested naming me after his favorite thing in the world, the navy. He was in it his whole life, and my mom liked it so that's what they called me." "Oh" she said. She looked away again. Navy leaned over towards her. "Would you like me to show you how to pray?" he whispered. She looked at him and nodded. He leaned back again, and put his hands together. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. "Father, thank You for this food. Let it nourish our bodies and keep us healthy. Amen." He looked up. "See? Simple as that!" She shook her head and just sat there. "You can eat now" Jack laughed.
It was Thursday evening... Pool racing night! Janna skipped all the way to the pool with her towel wrapped around her shoudlers. She got in through the gate and found her share group. Somebody blew a whistle, and everyone's attention turned to the camp director Charles. "Ok! I know you're all excited to be here!" Everyone shouted, whooping and hollering. Charles put his hand out to silence them. "The first contest will be a swimming race. Each team needs to pick two swimmers. The first swimmers will swim from that end of the pool to the other end and back. They will then tag the second swimmer's hand and that person will jump in and swim to the other end. Whoever gets there first wins and gets to pick who from each team will perform in the next contest. Pick your swimmers!" Everyone got back to their groups and started chatting loudly. Janna's leader, Miss Sarah, looked around the group. "Now who wants to volunteer?" All the girls' hands shot up, jumping around, except one. Janna stood there, trying to look not interested. "How about you, Janna?" Janna shook her head. "Oh no, Miss Sarah. I never go in the deep end. I can't swim." "Oh, ok hun. How about Sally and... Julia?"
The kids all took their places at the poolside. Janna, excited, glanced through the line to see who was racing. They were mostly people she saw walking around the camp but didn't know. Of course there were Sally and Julia, but next to them were two others she recognized. It was Jack and Navy. Jack was in position, ready to pounce in the water. They all were staring up at Charles, ready for action.
The shrill blast of his whistle resounded through the trees as the swimmers dove into action. Janna started jumping up and down, screaming and cheering with everyone else. The swimmers flew across the pool, and Jack was in the lead. She glanced at Julia again, and noticed that she was looking around. "Where's my nose plugs??" Julia shouted, still looking. Janna did a quick turnabout, scanning the ground for them. She spotted them on the cement edge next to Navy's feet. She ran over and bent down to pick them up. Just then, Jack reached up and slapped Navy's outstretched palm. He took off to jump, but he tripped over Janna's mid-section. He flew forward, dragging her along with him. They both hit the water; Janna falling sideways and Navy on top of her. Janna's scream of shock was silenced as the force of his weight smashed her face on the cement wall of the pool and blood squirted from her mouth. She struggled under the water tangled with Navy, who didn't know what the hell was going on. She could hear muffled screaming, and she desparatly tried to scream back. Both of them were kicked around by the other swimmers. Suddenly, the swishing stopped and she saw Navy disappear from the water. She was all alone in the red water around her, and the light was starting to get dim. She was choking on her own blood and water, grasping her throat. "God, someone help me!" she wanted to scream. Just then, she felt herself being pushed up and before she hit the surface, she blacked out.
"Somebody call an ambulance! Janna? Hey, Diane, I think she's coming to! Janna? Hunny, it's me, Miss Sarah. Can you hear me?" Janna's eyes flew open as she felt the water expel from her lungs. Diane rushed to her side. The wet grass felt mushy and uncomfortable under her, and she gagged as she struggled to inhale. Tears seeped from her eyes as she squirmed. Diane fell to her knees beside her. "It's ok, hun. You're all right now. Shhh..." she cooed. Diane took ahold of Janna's hand. "Hurry up! Get the nurse here now!" Charles yelled. He ran up to Diane with a blanket and covered Janna. She managed to turn her head and look around a bit. There were tons of people around. Counselors were trying to get the kids to back away. Some of them were crying hysterically, others were amazed at what just happened. Her chest throbbed like mad. Her head was filled with jumbled bits of colors, broken thoughts, fragments of time, tons of distorted voices. She closed her eyes again and drifted of into unconsciousness.
Janna awoke in her own bed. She sat up and looked around. "What the heck?" she thought. She threw off her covers and stood up. Suddenly she felt weak and lost her balance. Her mother burst through the bedroom door. "Janna!?" she rushed to her side. "Oh baby, hunny, you have to stay in bed for awhile." Delilah spoke as she helped her daughter back on the bad. "Mommy, what happened to me?" Her mother took a deep breath and sat down next to her. "There was a little accident at camp the other day. You..." "I fell in the pool." "Yes. One of the boys pushed you in, and you hit your head when you fell." Janna felt her cheek and winced. The inside of her mouth hurt real bad. "I guess your teeth dug into the side of your mouth." Her mom said, pulling Janna's hand from her cheek. "Navy pushed me." She looked up at Delilah. "I went to pick up Julia's nose plugs, and he pushed me. And he knew I couldn't swim!" "No hunny, he tripped over you. He didn't push you." "He almost killed me!" "Janna, it was an accident. Here, calm down. I'm going to bring you up some hot tea and soup. Ok? Just try and rest baby." She kissed her head and left the room. Janna laid down and pulled the covers up to her chin. "That jerk. I'm gonna punch him the next time I see him."
